Sunday, August 7, 2011

Boundaries and Letting Go

I have always had trouble with keeping boundaries with people. In the sense that I let them use me until there is nothing left. Most of the people I let do this is my family. Why you ask, well I am a people pleasure by nature and due to abuses that started at the age of 5 until now really. I still allow them to use me. I guess it is because I want them to love me they say it but, they do not feel act like they mean it.
The latest episode is, I have been letting my sister to drive my car putting a lot of wear and tear on it driving back and forth on the highway (along with other things she does). Anyways, last night we had a tire blow out and it was on our way home from a long driving trip. So….three hours after I called AAA they finally show up to fix the tire. And at this point I am irritable and in pain, I was ready to snap at any moment. My emotions where so negative I could not hear God telling me it was going to be ok. But, He once again showed me how wonderful he is. As the AAA guy was getting ready to leave he says to me, “You know you are truly blessed, I am an ordained ministry and have been dealing with my wife who is dying due to alcohol issues and I feel the Lord telling me to tell you, you are blessed, have a good night.” As he walked off, I mumbled a weak God Bless you and thank you as I was in awe at the first part of his statement. “You know you are blessed”. I know this but I was not feeling it in my spirit at the time or here recently. Which is so human of me to want to ‘feel’ blessed. It should be enough to know I am blessed because I am a child of God.
As I got into to the car to drive home with my sisters, son and great-nephew awaiting the smart comments and negative attitudes that usual go with my family. The Lord made it quiet (which if you knew us you would know my family is never quiet) and laid on my heart that I need to let go and let Him handle all the details right now of my life. With so much going on I have found it hard to do this and have missed out on blessings that the Lord has had for me. He also said to my heart, What you do for the least of these you do for me, referring to my family but in this He also let me know I am allowed to say no. I do not always have to say yes to everything that everyone wants because it just is not possible for me to be or do all everyone asks me to be or do.
Then he put several things in my mind and deep in my heart ; First, Matt. 6:25 which tells us to not worry about our lives and what we will eat or drink (He is there to carry us through) this was because I am now needing a new tire but not working due to an injury makes it hard to jump up and buy a tire. Next, he told me that while I do not have to do everything my family asks that I should remember to extend mercy and grace to them. And finally He really hammered in that I need to let go and let Him handle things and that I will have peace. So we will see what comes of this, I am letting go God.

2 comments:

  1. "Which is so human of me to want to ‘feel’ blessed. It should be enough to know I am blessed because I am a child of God." This was such a good statement and one I needed to hear!!!

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  2. @ Sara Thanks for the comment and actually the reminder of what I wrote. Sometimes I write and when I go back and read the words that the Lord gave me and am in total amazement at what He has given me to share. God bless.

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